Thoughts

“Try to realize it’s all within yourself, no one else can make you change and to see you’re really only very small and life flows on within you and without you” – George Harrison

 

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I am a grandma. I have some pretty solid evidence: my addiction to tea/coffee, my overwhelming need to take care of/feed people, my love for cooking, and lastly my ability to give advice and make people feel better.  But, my personality is complex in that I also have a love for youthful things, like adventure, but controlled adventure. This is because I also have a very good sense of judgment, which hinders my ability to act inappropriately immature and/or be around idiots for prolonged periods of time.  I love all different types of music, but my favorite bands are generally older bands, like the Beatles and artists like Frank Sinatra. I have a great appreciation for food and culture, which I’ve definitely talked about before, because it is a huge part of my life. One guy once told me that I remind him of a duchess because I’m classy and full of wit. I think that was a really good compliment. He came to this conclusion when we were talking about horror movies and I was like if I had to die in a horror movie, I’d want to just drink some poisoned wine or something.

On Being Observant:

You notice things about people that they don’t realize about themselves. This can sometimes cause resentment between people, because you expect them to act the way you know them to be, versus how they know themselves to be. For example, there is this person I know that has this personality trait that causes her to be a bit insecure and tag along when someone “believes” in her. This causes a conflict between us. I am a very independent person and when I find someone I like genuinely I want to spend time with that person. She gets caught up in trying to please everyone. If I were oblivious to all the little things around me or less sarcastic or witty would I have a happier life? I am not claiming to be some intellectual, but I do know a thing or two about people, which causes me to be weirdly wise for my age. Some people around me see it and understand, but others don’t and well — it’s frustrating. I am not claiming to be some great misunderstood figure but, some days I just wish people could grow up and understand themselves without “losing their childish enthusiasm” (Fellini). If you smoke a couple cigarettes, so what? Deal with the consequences — that is what being an adult is about. So many people around the age of 18 are confused with the definition of being an adult. They think it to be something that allows them rights. Yes, that is part of it, but the main thing is learning how to deal with the responsibilities of these rights.

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